Low maintenance

This is the thing about being beautiful; you feel like you should always be that. Growing up, someone told me I was pretty almost everyday. Everyday. Eventually you kinda become numb to it. At the same time it's a burden. No lie. Two things helped ground me and keep me from becoming a stuck up twitch. First, one of my grandmothers really helped to raise me. Mum had me at a young age. I was around granny a lot. This woman was kind, helpful, sweet, and giving to everyone we encountered. I watched her treat salesclerks, bus drivers, clergymen, and hoochie women, all the same, with respect and love. She was patient and strong and creative and spiritual and gorgeous. She raised me to be the same way. The second thing that helped keep my head a normal size, was mommy dearest. Mum would tell people rudely not to tell me that I was pretty. She would snap at family, friends, and strangers alike, "Don't tell her she's pretty! I want her to be smart. We don't do that." As a child, I found it very strange and didn't see the big deal, either way. Kids want to be happy, create, and play. They want to discover. Most of all they want to be assured they're "okay." There seemed to be a lot anger in her voice. I never understood it and now I....

Beauty. What does it mean? Not a damn thing, really. I'm over 30 now, and while I feel fairly young, things r changing. Everything is bigger, for starters. I took my skin for granted and it's dry now. I get new moles every year, just like mum. I get pimples and not little ones, big ones. Gross. My hair is thinner. Sometimes times my bones crack. For the first time in my life I'm beginning to worry about looks. We'll I'll be.... All these years I didn't even care what I looked like! I wore jeans, ponytails, and gym shoes. I don't know how to put on makeup. Unbelievable.

It's a new age now baby. Everbody's looking good and looking young. People make a life out of being fierce, Suga. More people workout now more than ever. We post our pictures on the internet and socialize with folks we knew 20 years ago. Little girls get manicures. Baby, a diva finds herself fading into the background. A twitch gotta make an effort now? Uh, uh. Beauty doesn't fade, but it does change. Oy vay.

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