an update

I have been pain free for about seven days now. I had forgotten what it feels like to be free, in that way. The doctors still don't know the cause. I go back in a few weeks. Life goes on! But it's not always easy. Other people are still depending on you, ringing the damn phone. Asking their nosey az questions. I try to to use The Secret when fear and worry set in. "I am in perfect health." Right..

Single and lonely. Impossible on the surface. Longing for a hand to hold, lips to kiss. Going in means feeling vulnerable. I should open up to be hurt in a slightly different way again? I become more and more jaded. All the while living the life of a fish in love with love. Does my soul mate even exist?

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